You can start again, any time you choose.

You don’t need it be a Monday, 1 minute past midnight or the chorus of Auld Lang Syne at a drunken ‘New Year’ party to start all over again. You can begin recovery at any point in any day at any time. You just have to want it enough, at least that’s what I have been told.

A typical day in my life since I left rehab starts in pretty much the same way. I wake up and pray to a power greater than myself to help me through the day, to keep me from taking a drink or drug and to guide me. I do this because people with years of sobriety do the same and I want what I see that they have.

I’ve never been particularly religious, I would say I am more spiritual and after the death of one of my parents, I struggled with the idea of someone’s soul passing over to another realm of existence. Recovery, however, changed all my beliefs.

I was absolutely broken when I went into rehab, I would have, and did do, anything and everything that was suggested to me to get well again. This included the belief that ‘a power greater than myself’ could help me to recover. For the first time in my life, I got on my knees and I prayed. It definitely felt awkward but at that point in my life, I was so desperate I would have given anything a go.

I can’t ever confirm to you that God really exists, that’s why it’s called a faith, but I can confirm that since that day, I haven’t wanted to take another drink. The obsession for me, at least for today, has disappeared.

So each morning, as suggested, I pray. I keep conscious connection and I no longer believe that I am in control of my life. I base this on actual experience that when I was in control, I was a mess. My self-will took me to rehab and nearly caused me to lose everything. So every day I give up self-will and allow God to guide me.

I make no apology for the use of the world God. I realise that for some this is an uncomfortable ideal but I can only tell you what works for me and I am unapologetic for that. I was in the depths of despair and even today readily welcome any suggestion that will keep me from returning to those incredibly painful days of active addiction.

Prayers are the first non-negotiable part of my day. I should let you know that I am far from perfect and sometimes I am already out of bed and making my morning coffee before I remember that I haven’t said a grateful prayer for my sobriety. But…I’ve discovered that’s ok. As soon as I remember, I make conscious contact through prayer and that seems to work for me.

I also do a daily reading that I’ll pick from a range of daily meditation books (I’m an addict remember, I can’t just have one of anything!) and i’ll take time to reflect and think about what the words mean to me. If you follow me on Facebook, I post extracts from the ones that have deep meaning to me and help me grow both mentally and spiritually.

Then I go about my day.

I keep it simple.

I don’t put myself at risk.

I try to be patient, kind and understanding.

I try to treat others as I would wish them to treat me.

I live life with my whole heart.

Above all else, I’m honest.

I’ll end on this..I am by no means perfect, I do not work a perfect recovery, nor am I suggesting you should try to either. I am human, I make mistakes but every day I am learning about myself again and how to live life without drugs and alcohol.

Sending you love,

Jorgi x

 

 

 

 

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lettersfrommyaddict View All →

My name is Georgie and for the last 11 years I have been in active addiction. You name it and I have been addicted to it (apart from sex..much to my boyfriend's disappointment!)

Here is my story and my journey through recovery.

Who am i? How did this happen? Why am I telling you this?

My name is Georgie, I am an addict and this is my truth. I'd love to hear from you so please feel free to get in touch via the email below.

lettersfrommyaddict@outlook.com

2 Comments Leave a comment

  1. When my husband began recovery for a sex addiction, his therapist told him to pray. He didn’t believe in God. The therapist, said “So? Pray anyway.” He did. Now he does believe in a Higher Power, which in his case is God.
    Blessings to you on your journey and recovery. There is no such thing as a perfect recovery, but it is a wonderful adventure to wholeness worth every minute of it!

    Like

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